Pokémon Heroes

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moviePoster5

DirectorKunihiko Yuyama
StudioOLM, Inc.
Release year2002
Movie number5
Purchase DVDClick here to purchase from Amazon.


Tch, look at that red header.

The most action-packed Pokémon movie evah!

…Yeah, I bet it is. Maybe it would top Pokémon 3 The Movie’s action scenes.

…Or maybe this poster is bullshit.

So we get a Pokémon movie starring Generation III legendary Pokémon in a Generation II environment. I remember it’s by this point that theatrical releases of Pokémon movies have died down and people overall stopped caring. This movie in particular was the very last one released in the theaters of the United States for a while, until the Victini movies hit during Generation V. Mind you, this movie wasn’t highly publicized so it was only shown in a few select theaters.

And wouldn’t you believe it? Many Pokémon fans pass it up too! I couldn’t imagine why.

Hell, even at first when I saw Latios and Latias, I couldn’t help but think, “Did they really have to take Lugia’s design, modify it to look like a jet plane, and present it as two different colors? Who comes up with this shit?”

However, I did catch this particular movie on Cartoon Network and I thought it was decent. But I’m obligated to reassess my thoughts with this movie to see if I have different opinions.

So Pokémon Heroes starts off with the same two-minute introduction as The Voice of the Forest, in an attempt to explain and show to non-fans on what Pokémon is about. Not that it really worked, mind you.

Pokemon Heroes bookPokemon Heroes latios and latias in book

The movie actually starts with two women, named Annie and Oakley, reading a book and discussing the legend of the Pokémon, Latias and Latios, and a powerful jewel known as the Soul Dew. Before they can reveal what is on the book’s last page, they are interrupted by the security guard in the museum they are in.

The two women flee, with the security guard only finding a rose and a photo negative with lip imprints, leaving their mark as stereotypical cat burglars. I wonder if the security guard has any idea on what they even took from that whole bookcase.

During their escape, Oakley explains that the last chapter of the book tells of a machine known as the Defense Mechanism of Alto Mare. Nothing else yet. But hey, time for a James Bond homage!

Pokemon Heroes Annie and Oakley's ship
It even comes with cheesy spy music!

Oakley makes the claim that the machine is the most powerful weapon ever built, though I would think that the giant crystal flower penis cannon in Pokémon X and Y would top it.

Pokemon Heroes Annie and Oakley
Hai, ladies.

We find that Annie and Oakley have different motives on what to do with the Soul Dew; Annie wants it as a jewelry accessory, but Oakley wants to use it for the machine. And also…

Soul Dew = soul of Latios in a dewdrop

…So someone built a machine that utilizes souls to work. That’s just… insane. Couldn’t there be a different source of fuel if this place called Alto Mare needed a “defense mechanism?” It has so much water. Why not just use a shitload of water mills to power it?

The two ladies also reveal that they are going to captures Latias and Latios to deliver to none other than the Team Rocket boss, Giovanni. The scene cuts to the logo as the city known as Alto Mare appears on the horizon.

So what is our movie subtitle this time? Heroes: Latios & Latias. Kind of bland, but it works I guess.

Pokemon Heroes Alto Mare

We meet our heroes (Ash, Misty, & Brock) in Alto Mare, which highly resembles an old-fashioned Venice, Italy. An interesting choice, so I’m sure we’ll at least get some scenic shots. Ash and Misty compete in, appropriately enough, a water Pokémon race. The race begins with an elaborate Natu-Xatu signal and Brock… has his attentions elsewhere…

Pokemon Heroes Brock
Brock is definitely not shy around them MILFs.

But then Ash’s Pikachu falls off the bridge, conveniently landing on Ash’s shoulder as he launches from the starting point. The race progresses for a few minutes as some mysterious apparitions wander the alleys of Alto Mare and eventually chase after the race contenders.

Pokemon Heroes Invisible Latios and Latias
You know your opponents are cheap if their Pokémon are using their built-in cloaking devices…

In the background, Team Rocket is having a lunch of spaghetti and meatballs, only to receive a bit of collateral damage.

Pokemon Heroes Team Rocket
Well, something tells me they are going to have a point in this movie… right?

…I think you all know the answer to that.

So yeah, not much going on here. No plot, just a sporting event that has no relevance whatsoever to fill in the time gap. BORING.

Just as Ash is about to make a sharp turn, his Totodile seems to have run off course, causing him to fall off. But then we see the two invisible figures from earlier are interfering with him, for some odd reason, and ending up costing him the race.

Misty takes the gold, once again showing that she hasn’t gone to the Ash level of fail. Good job, Misty.

And luckily, the runner-up takes his loss pretty well and offers her a tour of Alto Mare. Ash, Pikachu, and Totodile also seem to have taken their loss pretty well as the two invisible figures watch on.

Pokemon Heroes Ash loses race
Huhuh! Did you see how he fell in the water, sis? What an asshole.

Pokemon Heroes Misty and Ross

The runner-up, revealed to be Ross, gives the gang a tour via gondola (again, Venice). As they pass by a pair of statues, Ross explains that they represent Latios and Latias, supposedly the guardians of Alto Mare.

Pokemon Heroes Latios and Latias statue

And also, Ross never appears in the movie again. Bye, Ross…

Meanwhile, we return to Annie and Oakley, who are currently hunting Latias and Latios. Though unsuccessful, Oakley explains that either Pokémon can take a different shape, even humans.

Pokemon Ditto
Well, Ditto, you just lost the one thing that makes you unique. Now you’re just a pile of purple poop.

But Oakley also reveals that the guardians have lower body temperatures, making their heat-seeking radar useful. That… is actually pretty logical for a Pokémon movie. They find one of their targets masquerading as a human, and so the hunt begins.

On their way, they pass by Jessie, James, and Meowth.

Pokemon Heroes Team Rocket
Because it’s even funnier the second time, right?

Pokemon Heroes Annie and Oakley on boat
Watch where ya goin’, ya fool!

Jessie: Was that Team Rocket?!

…Uh, lucky guess? Neither Annie and Oakley were wearing the Team Rocket uniforms. But Meowth reveals that they are indeed spies working for Giovanni, but James finishes the conversation that they are Annie and Oakley. Well… this conversation doesn’t sound jumbled up, does it.

Knowing of their reputation, Jessie, James, and Meowth decide to investigate on what they are hunting for and attempt to gain the glory for themselves.

Hmm. So far, nothing big has happened, but so does nothing terrible. And to think my review on Mewtwo Strikes Back had over 8,000 words…

So after some annoying ice cream puns, Pikachu wanders off on his own to get a drink from a water fountain. However, a girl with a rather… odd hairstyle assists him.

Pokemon Heroes Latias disguised as Bianca
Well, that doesn’t stand out AT ALL. 

Pokemon Heroes Pikachu bathing

Or I guess Pikachu doesn’t want a drink. He wants a bath, even though he was in the water earlier. Okay then.

Ash appears on the scene and the girl moves uncomfortably close, observing him like a piece of meat.

Pokemon Heroes Latias disguised as Bianca stares at Ash Ketchum
…Hai.

She runs off into an alley, leaving Ash and Pikachu confused.

Pokemon Heroes Latias disguised

Meanwhile, Annie and Oakley find the girl. To confirm, they put on a pair of goggles, which reveals that the girl is none other than Latias in disguise. Rather than sneaking up on her, they decide to catch her attention to make the hunt more fun by sending out their Espeon and Ariados after her.

Um… Latias, you do remember you’re a psychic Pokémon, right? Wouldn’t you have noticed them earlier?

Back at the fountain, Pikachu senses that something is wrong (I guess he is psychic too, considering he spots nearly every movie plot device from a long distance) and gets involved in the chase.

Espeon and Ariados ensnare Latias, who doesn’t fight back for some reason, as Ash and Pikachu arrive on the scene. Ash releases Latias as… Annie and Oakley just let him do it and mock him.

Yoohoo, ladies, you have a job to do. There’s no time to reenact your high-school alpha bitch scenes. When Ash tells them to back off, Annie’s Espeon hits Ash with a Psybeam. To little effect. I guess his own Pikachu hitting him with Thunder multiple times throughout the series desensitized him.

So Ash sic’d his Pikachu after them. Pikachu uses his electric attack and Annie and Oakley fall into the water. Ladies, this is why you don’t dick around on a job like this.

Annie: This was a very expensive outfit, and now it’s completely ruined!

…Then why are you wearing it on a job that involves getting your hands dirty? Bimbo.

So the ladies once again send Espeon and Ariados to pursue Ash and Latias. Through a bad first-person CGI chase scene—seriously, it looks like a point-and-click game with dizzying movement—, Ash and Latias seem to have shaken off their pursuers. Latias, however, takes the lead and brings Ash back to Misty and Brock. Talk about lucky. And then she vanishes.

Well, enough of that. Rather than reporting to the police about what transpired, Ash goes sightseeing with his friends! Hooray!

Pokemon Heroes museum

They come across a cathedral-like museum while Annie and Oakley watch over them with a Doctor Robotnik surveillance device. Inside, they observe a fossil in an underground display.

Pokemon Heroes Aerodactyl fossil

Ash: Is this a fossil of a Pokémon?

….

………….

………………….

…No, Ash. It’s a fossil of a cyborg demon lord. What are you, blind?

A portly gentleman enters the scene, revealing that the fossils were once Pokémon that terrorized Alto Mare: Aerodactyl and Kabutops. And for no reason, he shows them Alto Mare’s secret weapon: the Defense Mechanism of Alto Mare (or DMA for short).

Pokemon Heroes dma defense mechanism of alto mare
Now with extra lens flare.

Brock overreacts to sunlight phasing through a stained glass window.

Pokemon Heroes Brock
I have seen the light! I will definitely meet a girl in this town!

Jesus, man, you need to get laid.

The gentleman, known as Lorenzo, explains that an evil trainer once ruled Alto Mare using his Aerodactyl and Kabutops until a Latios overthrew him and flooded the city to drown the Pokémon. Um… isn’t Kabutops a water type, therefore it may be likely that it could survive underwater?

So the ancient people of Alto Mare built the rather advanced DMA to protect the city from future danger, but it ended up never being used. So now, it is just collecting dust in a museum, waiting for a couple of crazy bitches to abuse its power. Neat.

That’s all well and good, but this doesn’t explain a whole lot about the DMA! How was this rather advanced machine built in the past? Why did the ancient people made the DMA receive its power from SOULS? And how the fuck did they even do that in the first place?

Meanwhile, Ash finds himself a cute piece of ass working on the upper floor.

Pokemon Heroes Ash and Pikachu Pokemon Heroes Bianca

But this girl looks exactly like the one he just rescued earlier, so he gets curious and starts chasing after her.

So once again, Ash gets separated from Misty and Brock. During yet ANOTHER chase sequence, Annie and Oakley continue to track Ash via security bot as he calls out to the mysterious girl. The girl claims that she doesn’t know him and walks away, but that doesn’t stop Ash from continuing to stalk her.

In ANOTHER dizzying tracking CGI shot, Ash finds the girl again waiting on a bridge… or so it seems, since she’s not wearing the hat she just had on earlier. The girl doesn’t say a thing and runs off in a playful manner, prompting Ash to chase her once again. And then we get another first-person CGI chase scene.

Enough with the gimmicks, movie. Damn.

Finally, the girl leads Ash into a hidden garden.

Pokemon Heroes Ash Ketchum staring at Pidgey
‘ey! You mind, asshole?

The girl vanishes into a dark alley, where she seems to enter a weird portal.

Thank you very much, movie, you’ve just turned this into a horror flick for kids.

Then Ash and Pikachu soon follow, finding themselves in an even larger garden. Or rather, a forest.

Pokemon Heroes forest
I admit, this is a nice shot. 

The chase ends when Ash finds the girl on a lone swing.

Pokemon Heroes Latias disguised as Bianca
Again, nothing creepy at all.

But Ash and Pikachu sense that something is wrong. An invisible figure attacks them.

I KNEW IT! GHOSTS! AHHHHHH!

Pikachu tries to stop it but the creature is too fast. Then the girl jumps in and blocks the figure from attacking Ash.

Pokemon Heroes Latios

The invisible creature reveals itself to be none other than Latios, who seems pretty miffed to say the least. And then another girl walks in the scene, who looks exactly the same as the one Ash was with. Due to a misunderstanding, the girl with the hat attempts to sic Latios at them again until Lorenzo walks in and puts it to a stop.

The girl with the hat tries to make an excuse but Lorenzo doesn’t want to hear any of it. Yeah, I have to admit that neither Latios nor the girl have any reason to ambush a pedestrian. Or they could just say he was a trespasser. Whatever. Lorenzo then reveals the other girl to be Latias, which we already know but Ash didn’t.

Latias, still in her human form, assertively leads Ash to a swing. And then a laidback pop song plays in the background, sounding like a love song. Uh oh.

Ash: Hey, no offense, but I thought Latias was the name of a Pokémon.

Pokemon Heroes Ash Ketchum and Latias
That’s because I am, you silly billy!

Lorenzo: She must have really taken a liking to this young man.

Interpret that line as you will. I’m sure nothing weird comes out of it.

Speaking of weird, Latios decides to make a new friend too.

Pokemon Heroes Latios licking Pikachu
Oh my gaaaaaaaahd, CUTENESS OVERLOAD. Kawaii desu desu :3 :3 :3 :3 weeaboofangirling :3

And that’s pretty much what happens for the next few minutes. Latios and Latias play with Pikachu as the girl with the hat introduces herself as Bianca and apologizes to Ash for her rash behavior. Weird. Usually, Ash is the one making rash decisions. But I guess you can count him chasing a young girl into a dark alley.

…God, this movie has a shitty creepypasta waiting to happen.

Bianca explains that Latias likes taking the form of herself since they’re the best of friends. I mean, there’s that whole misunderstanding of mistaken identity but I guess Latias is perfectly harmless as long as she stays away from Ash’s pants.

HOPEFULLY.

Then Latios’s eyes begin to glow and he dives underwater. Latias’s eyes glow too, which allows her to make a projection for Ash and company to see exactly what Latios is seeing. Lorenzo calls it “sight-sharing.”

Pokemon Heroes sight sharing

Why is this important to know? Well, believe it or not, it does have a point later in the movie.

Lorenzo: This is a rare privilege. To see through the eyes of Latios.
Bianca: I guess Latios thinks he can really trust you and Pikachu, Ash.

And just a few minutes ago, Latios tried to murder them in cold blood. But oh, we’re the best of friends now!

But I got to admit, this is a pretty shot.

Pokemon Heroes sight sharing

So after that whole montage, Lorenzo reveals that he has known Latios and Latias since they were babies and that the original Latios who gave up his life to protect Alto Mare was their father. The result was the Soul Dew, which contained the soul of that Latios. And by extension, the younger Latios and Latias now are orphans.

Well, okay. I guess it’s no wonder that Latias is a little too friendly with Ash. You may even dare say that he is her first crush. Granted, it’s not the first time Ash’s animal magnetism has been successful.

Pokemon anime Chikorita kissing Ash Ketchum
*plays Psycho theme*

A little more of those and Ash will turn into a furry.

Ash: Hey, where is the Soul Dew?

Wait, no no no no no no. You don’t ask that, you dumbass. You just walk away and—

Pokemon Heroes Soul Dew
Oh, fuck you.

Okay. Lorenzo, Bianca, let me give you a little lesson in common sense. You just barely met this kid. And you’re going to reveal your prized treasure to him just like that. Oh, and also the super weapon that requires the treasure in order to use it!

Lorenzo: I’ll tell you something, Ash. That beautiful jewel not only contains the spirit of Latios, but in the wrong hands, the power to destroy our town. It must never leave this pool. So, you see, it’s important for its location to be kept a secret.

“And that is why I’m telling my secrets to you, a dumb 10-year old boy.”

Seriously, just why? You poor, naïve fools. Don’t you know that this immediately sets up your failure?

But enough of that important shit. MOAR PLAYTIME!

Pokemon Heroes Latias grabbing Ash Ketchum
GLOMP! :3

But Ash decides that playtime is over and he must go look for his friends, leaving Latias disheartened. And then…

Pokemon Heroes spybot
OOPS.

So yeah, Pokémon Heroes, the most action-packed Pokémon movie ever!

Are you thrilled yet?

Pokemon Heroes Alto Mare at sunset

Meanwhile, we’re treated to a beautiful Venetian sunset as Ash and Bianca talk. Ash asks why the two women from earlier was chasing her, but then Bianca reveals that it wasn’t her. Nope, Ash figures it’s Latias. Bianca’s response is, “That’s weird.”

Bianca, I think your response ought to be, “Oh my Arceus, I better go check on them!”

So nightfall comes and Annie and Oakley are auditioning for the next Assassin’s Creed game by roof-hopping between buildings.

Pokemon Heroes Annie and Oakley
Synchronizing viewpoint… annnnnnd DONE.

Jessie, James, and Meowth are not too far behind but end up losing sight of them, leading into a rather humorous sendoff.

Annie’s Espeon confronts Lorenzo and knocks him out with a single attack, probably lobotomizing him in the process. Well, maybe not, but it does make you wonder why Espeon never tried this earlier on Ash, Pikachu, or even Latias.

Latios and Latias wake up, noticing company in the midst of their garden. Latios immediately delivers the first strike as Annie and Oakley gracefully dodge his attacks. Latios and Latias then blend against the background, but this doesn’t stop the ladies as they have special night vision goggles that allow them spot them.

Pokemon Heroes Espeon uses swift
:O ======BLARGH==============

Hahaha… the next thing you’ll know, that Ariados will shoot rainbows out of its thorax.

The battle ends as Latios uses himself as a meat shield to protect his sister from Ariados’s Night Shade attack, which ends up with him being captured.

Wait, if Annie and Oakley were carrying electrified nets the whole time, why didn’t they use them on Latias earlier? What is wrong of these bimbos? For spies working for the big boss Giovanni, they’re not exactly efficient.

Latias attempts to free her brother but Espeon hits her with a Psybeam… which is somehow effective enough to bring Latias, a psychic type, down to the ground.

*sighs* You know I want to like you, anime, but you just keep giving me more reasons not to.

Latios pleads his sister to flee as Espeon and Ariados torture him. Annie almost nabs Latias, but Latios is too stubborn and takes in yet another electrified net. Ouch.

Latias escapes, but Oakley manages to remove the Soul Dew from its pool. Annie snatches it from her and says this.

Annie: It’s like it’s… spiritual or something. You know what I mean, Oakley?

And there is our second dumb blonde joke of the movie. Are you pleased with yourselves, 4Kids?

Oakley, through a rather unbelievable deduction, manages to discern the blueprint for the DMA with her laptop in seconds—I guess she must have been solving a lot of puzzles at the Ruins of Alph in her spare time—and learns how to power the machine with the Soul Dew. Hell, the laptop can even translate the ancient script perfectly!

Pokemon Heroes cyrillic script
An automatic decoding laptop.

Oakley: It says, “The Defense Mechanism must only be used as a last resort, for it will cause all the water to recede and destroy the Soul Dew.”

Spies and their plot convenient technology. Amirite?

And she goes on to claim that the ancient people lie about that so the DMA won’t be used against them. Well, that doesn’t make her just as stupid as Annie AT ALL.

But truthfully, the water in the garden stops running, foreshadowing a terrible event to come.

DA DA-DA DUUUUUUM!

Meanwhile, Latias searches for Ash and his friends while Bianca and Lorenzo discover that the two Eon Pokémon and the Soul Dew are gone.

Annie and Oakley deliver an unconscious Latios into the museum. By dropping him on a specific panel, the DMA finally opens up. I don’t remember a mention of requiring a live Latios to run the machines, but details~

Pokemon Heroes dma defense mechanism of alto mare

Lorenzo and Bianca stumble upon to witness the scene, only to be attacked by Annie’s Espeon. You would think for two people guarding the Eon Pokémon and the Soul Dew, they would carry extra Pokémon as bodyguards.

Oakley places the Soul Dew inside the machine and looks like she is about to orgasm at the sight of it running.

Pokemon Heroes Annie and Oakley
Sheesh, girl, you need a boyfriend.

Meanwhile, Latias, in the form of Bianca, finds Ash and his friends. She embraces Ash, still shaken by what happened to her brother. Okay, how did she find him? And please don’t say psychic powuhz.

Moments later, Ash explains to Misty and Brock that this girl is none other than the legendary Pokémon Latias. As proof, the girl reveals her true form, prompting a strange overreaction from Brock.

Pokemon Heroes Brock screaming
BONER KILLED

King of the Hill Hank Hill bwaaaa
BWAAAAAH!

And that is what you get for chasing skirts, Brock. Get it? Because Bianca wears a skirt? Heeeeeeeh…

FAIL.

Back in the museum, Bianca and Lorenzo watch in horror as the DMA powers up and Latios tries to break free from his electric prison. As a last resort, he activates his “sight-sharing” ability, which allows Latias on the other side to show to Ash and company on what is happening. See? I told you this ability has a point. And it will have another soon.

Oakley takes the seat inside the DMA and uses it…

Pokemon Heroes Aerodactyl and Kabutops
…To bring the Aerodactyl and Kabutops back to life. Hello, hi, how did she do that?

Misty: How is this happening?

I don’t know, Misty. It was never explained on what the Defense Mechanism could do… at all. I just assumed it was going to… defend the city.  And furthermore, bringing the dead back to life just like that sort of kills the premise of Mewtwo Strikes Back.

So Oakley sends out Aerodactyl and Kabutops to hunt down Latias. On the other side, Ash and company know what they must do.

Oakley, consumed by her lust for power, prepares for her own plans of world domination—because like with the Iron-Masked Marauder, fuck Giovanni—and initiates a citywide lockdown. This allows her to materialize metal bars all over the city at will.

Pokemon Heroes Team Rocket
Wah wah waaaaaaaah~

Again, never explained. These metal bars come out of nowhere and can even form intricate patterns. This is one instance where Pokémon physics can get real wonky, which is saying a lot.

Ash, Pikachu, and Latias attempt to flee via gondola and go to the museum while Misty and Brock are trapped behind bars.

Pokemon Heroes Aerodactyl grabs Latias
JESUS! That is one big Aerodactyl!

And for the nitpickers:

  • Aerodactyl = 5’11”
  • Latias = 4’07”

Aerodactyl comes in to spoil the plan, keeping everyone on their toes. Momentarily, Ash has been knocked out but was saved by Latias.

Pokemon Heroes Latias holds Ash Ketchum
Oh, what can this be? Another ship tease?

…Oh, don’t tempt me, movie. I have ways to make this more creepy than it needs to be.

Out of nowhere, Ash and the others stumble upon the chariot seats at the beginning of the movie, so Ash goes jet skiing with Latias as his pilot.

Pokemon Heroes Ash Ketchum and Latias
Hello, convenient plot devices.

And I have to admit, this is a cool chase scene… brief as it is.

Pokemon Heroes chase scene Pokemon Heroes chase scene Pokemon Heroes chase scene
Awwww…

Misty and Brock, still trapped behind bars, send out their own Pokémon to track down and assist Ash. Conveniently, they can send out their Pokémon through the metal bars, which is actually a very smart move. Brock has it up to here with the whole situation, so he decides to climb over the bars. Well, that is an easy solution…

So with Aerodactyl out of the picture, Ash and Latias are being pursued by Kabutops. Again, this is just cool to watch. This scary mutant horseshoe crab dinosaur thing clings to the walls to go after them.

Pokemon Heroes Kabutops Pokemon Heroes Kabutops Pokemon Heroes Kabutops
Holy shit, man. Why are the minor antagonists in this picture so badass?

…And even though Kabutops is supposedly a good swimmer, it makes you wonder why it didn’t even try to swim after them.

But Misty’s and Brock’s Pokémon find the company and subdue the “terrifying” Kabutops rather quickly… with a Tackle and water attacks.

Pokemon Heroes Kabutops defeated
Well, that was anti-climactic.

Ah, come on, movie. You practically have a potentially badass battle gift-wrapped for you and you’ve only spent a short amount of time on these supposedly fearsome predators chasing after Ash. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?

…By the way, there are no more battles or chase scenes in this flick. The most action-packed Pokémon movie ever!

We cut back to the museum, where Lorenzo scolds the Team Rocket spies and demands that they return things back to normal. However, Oakley is intoxicated with the amount of power she holds, which even leaves her partner Annie speechless. Using what I assume to be advanced virtual motion controls, Oakley manipulates the water around Alto Mare to create an artificial waterspout to catch Ash and Latias.

Pokemon Heroes cgi water
And agggghh, the CGI!

Just as Oakley has her targets ensnared, Latias unleashes a large amount of psychic power to shatter the waterspout. By extension, this also causes the DMA to malfunction and traps Oakley inside.

…Ugh.

I don’t even understand how it works to be honest. Does the DMA work by psychic abilities the whole time? It would make sense a bit, seeing as how it runs on a Latios and a soul of a Latios. But then again, it doesn’t explain how the DMA has all these reality manipulation powers.

However, how does one attack that doesn’t even reach the machine directly cause it to break? Defense mechanism, my ass. This thing is more fragile than a cell phone.

Ash, Pikachu, and Latias finally arrive in the museum, subduing Annie and her Espeon and freeing Bianca and Lorenzo. Latias watches in horror as the machine weakens her brother. Pikachu attempts to free him with electricity, but a barrier deflects it back.

Well, give them so credit. At least Ash isn’t headbutting a barrier this time.

Pokemon Heroes Ash Ketchum and Pikachu tackle barrier
Oh, wait. I spoke too soon. I knew the movie was missing something.

…Come to think of it, the last movie doesn’t have Ash do this. But I guess climbing a giant metal tick and a giant wooden devil work just as well.

And is this movie’s budget so low that none of Ash’s other Pokémon, except for Totodile in the race at the beginning, make an appearance? Fucking please.

However, Latias summons some psychic energy and headbutts the barrier…

Pokemon Heroes Latias headbutts barrier
And it works.

*sighs* Fucking what?

Where did this even come from? Latias couldn’t even take on Espeon and Ariados before, even getting stunned by a Psybeam, so how is her headbutting the barrier more effective than Pikachu’s thunderbolts of Zeus? Whatever.

So Ash and company pull Latios out of the machine, which seems to have deactivated it. And so, Latias and Latios reunite and share a brief moment together.

Pokemon Heroes Latios and Latias

In a rather sporadic moment, Annie seems to be touched by this. She wakes Oakley up, reminding her that she got over her head.

You don’t say.

Then Misty and Brock show up, having missed all the action… or lack thereof.

The most action-packed Pokéehhh, you know the joke.

Annie and Oakley attempt to make off with the Soul Dew once again, but they discover that it has turned black.

Pokemon Heroes Annies touches Soul Dew
Ooh~ what does this black mass do?

Annie grabs the Soul Dew, but it explodes… which SOMEHOW reactivates the DMA, once again trapping Annie and Oakley inside and causing the machine to go out of control… only this time it appears to be worse.

OKAY. I’LL JUST FUCKING BUY IT.

Bianca: What’s happening?
Lorenzo: The prophecy was true. The Soul Dew is dying. It’s been out of the pool for much too long. All the water is leaving.

No offense, Lorenzo, but didn’t the Soul Dew just EXPLODE into a million itty bitty pieces, meaning those bimbos killed the soul of Latios? You need to get your eyes checked.

Outside, Jessie, James, and Meowth—who for some reason are still in this movie, despite having extremely little screen time—watch as the city canals become empty.

…Where the flying fuck are all the citizens of Alto Mare during all this? We have never seen a single person aside from Ash, his friends, and the side characters since nightfall. Hell, none of the buildings are even lit. It’s just too weird to think that everyone is stuck in some ghost town.

Ash and company witness the scene for themselves, finding that Alto Mare is nearly void of water.

But then…

Pokemon Heroes tsunami
What. The. Fuck.

Lorenzo: Just as predicted. It’s coming.

Wait, since when? You have mentioned that all of the water will leave Alto Mare, but you never said ANYTHING about a tsunami! Do you just make it a habit to leave out important details about the DMA, even at the risk of your home’s safety?

As everyone awaits their seemingly imminent doom, Latios and Latias head straight for the tsunami, combining their psychic powers to split the tsunami apart. What remains is a giant orb of light.

Momentarily unconscious, Latias wakes up to find her brother bathed in a bright blue light.

Pokemon Heroes Latios sacrifice

…Yeah, I don’t get why it’s just Latios either and why Latias seems to be unharmed.

Latias immediately figures out what is happening, as Latios smiles back at her and seems to fade away. This causes a giant pillar of light to rise to the sky.

Pokemon Heroes pillar of light
Bravely Default, anyone?

The water of Alto Mare rushes back, once again covering the city in water.

Pokemon Heroes Team Rocket
Looks like Team Rocket is blasting blblblblblbl!

They have contributed so much to this movie…

And the city-wide lockdown suddenly disperses. Why didn’t this happen when the machine was shut down earlier? Also, the Kabutops and Aerodactyl from earlier once again pass away and return as fossils at the museum.

Pokemon Heroes Kabutops death Pokemon Heroes Aerodactyl death
Oh, you gotta be fucking kidding me…

So the ENTIRE town has been asleep this whole time, between the loud screeches of Aerodactyl, the amount of property damage it did, the lockdown, AND the water leaving/entering the city? No nightlife in this city whatsoever?

WOW. THAT’S A LOT TO BUY. GIVE ME A FUCKING BREAK.

Back in the museum, Annie and Oakley are still trapped in a deactivated DMA as they bicker on whose fault the whole ordeal is. Hyuck-hyuck-hyuck.

At sunrise, Ash and company search for Latias and Latios. They find Latias being carried over by some friendly water Pokémon, finding that she is alive and well.

When asked about Latios, Latias points to the sky.

Bianca: So… that light is Latios?
Lorenzo: Like his father, Latios gave his life to save the city.

Um, wow. Dark.

Before they can grieve, Latias suddenly activates her sight-sharing ability, discovering that Latios is still alive somewhere. And then…

Pokemon Heroes ending
Cue Also sprach Zarathustra.

I’m not going to lie. This is a powerful scene that shows the last few seconds of Latios’s life as he watches the planet slowly moving further away, before he meets the same fate as his father: being reborn as a Soul Dew.

Pokemon Heroes Soul Dew

Ash comforts a grieving Latias and the company returns back to the garden where they give the new Soul Dew a home. This causes the water in the garden to flow normally again and the scene ends with an image of ringing bells.

Have we suddenly entered a different movie? That transition is way too poignant for Pokémon.

Pokemon Heroes bells
Sing the bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells of Nooooootreeeee Daaaaaaame! 

The next day, Ash and his friends say their farewells to Lorenzo, but they seem to have missed Bianca. In Bianca’s room is her hat, but then someone snatches one of her drawings.

Pokemon Heroes Bianca's beret

Just as our heroes are about to depart from the city, Bianca chases after them. Ash approaches her to say goodbye, but the girl only smiles at him and hands over her drawing. And then…

Pokemon Heroes Ash Ketchum and Latias Bianca Pokemon Heroes Latias Bianca kisses Ash Ketchum
And IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII will alwaaaays loooooooove yoooooooooou-hooooo~

King of the Hill Hank Hill bwaaaa
BWAAAAAH!

She runs off without a word.

So, yeah…

WELL, GEE, WHO COULD IT BE? BIANCA OR LATIAS?

…Let’s face it, everyone. It’s Latias.

If you think about it, it’s the only choice that would make sense in context. In any of the scenes where Ash is with Bianca, there are no signs of romantic interest between the characters. I’m sure a MareShipper out there is going to try to prove me and anyone else who says otherwise wrong, but even the subtle hints aren’t strong evidence. Hell, they hardly know a thing about each other.

And the movie spends so much time in developing the friendship between Ash and Latias. They both help and protect each other, trust each other, and play together. Ash knows about the past of Latios and Latias, and he even helps Latias save her brother. The fact that they share this much screen time together should be more than enough of an indicator that the girl at the end was Latias.

And do you really think Latias would let Ash go without saying goodbye? It would leave behind a sour note…

…Oh, and it makes me wonder why Misty didn’t react to “Bianca” like she did when Melody from The Power of One kissed Ash.

And geez, Ash’s Bayleef is not going to be happy about this.

Pokemon Anime Bayleef frown
My, how flattering.

Hehehe. I can be a real douche.

So Ash takes a look at the drawing that “Bianca” gave him, which is a detailed pencil sketch of him and his Pikachu.

Pokemon Heroes Ash Ketchum and Pikachu drawing

And just when you think the movie is going to end on a decent note, our heroes notice something peculiar in the sky…

Pokemon Heroes invisible Latios and Latias

A large Latios, a small Latios, and a Latias. Wait… what? WHAT?

…I don’t get it. Are they apparitions or are they real? Well, gee, thanks, movie! Thanks for giving us a whole valley of WTF at the end! Much appreciated!

In the epilogue, we discover that Annie and Oakley meet their just desserts: reading a book containing a cameo from Lawrence III from The Power of One in prison.

Considering the shit they’ve started, don’t you think that’s equivalent to a slap on the wrist?

So what do I think of this movie? Well…

By this time around, Pokémon movies have lost the “epic” edge that titles like Mewtwo Strikes Back, The Power of One, and Spell of the Unown had. But all things considered, I don’t think it’s really that bad. If anything, I find The Voice of the Forest to be a considerably worse movie. So as a sendoff to the “classic” Pokémon movies, it could’ve been better but it also could’ve been far worse too.

But it is dull and underwhelming. And considering it has the tagline the most action-packed Pokémon movie ever, you would hope to see a lot more than some simple battles and an intense chase scene that only last a few minutes. Not only that, but the plot is underdeveloped in some places which makes you want to see more effort put here.

And it is just painful to see how pointless most of the side characters are. Misty and Brock barely have one shining moment in the movie, and that is by sending their Pokémon to save Ash from Kabutops. Team Rocket has absolutely no point here aside from comic relief. Even Bianca and Lorenzo don’t play that big a part aside from exposition.

If anything, the movie hinges upon Ash’s newfound friendship with Latias and Latios, but mostly Latias. Though you could say Latias got a little too close despite the short time they’ve spent together, seeing Latias trust Ash as a good friend is heartwarming and even cute.

And I should also note that Latios’s heroic sacrifice is the first Pokémon death in the movies, at least for the United States. We’re not counting humans here, and it is highly debatable since there are some noteworthy death scenes:

  • 1st: The clone starters in the deleted “Origin of Mewtwo” segment in Mewtwo Strikes Back
  • 3rd: Entei, who is an illusion created by the Unown based on Molly’s father
  • 4th: Almost Celebi, due to a copout ending

But for once, this particular death actually stays. Admittedly, the ending of The Voice of the Forest ruined the movie for some fans, seeing as how the ending completely discredited the movie’s premise. But for Latios, the characters were up and front with it. No cover-ups whatsoever. Latios died. And that in itself isn’t executed too badly either.

When I first watched this movie, I kind of liked it and I feel that hasn’t changed much for me now. If it had a stronger script with the plot holes filled and a little more action to keep you interested, I would at least say this is a seriously underrated Pokémon movie. And as far as Pokémon movies go, I could’ve been a lot more harsh in my criticisms.

And so ends the movie series of the classic Pokémon anime, which means…

Pokemon Jirachi Wish Maker movie poster

King of the Hill Hank Hill bwaaaa



Pokémon Heroes

$4.99
Pokémon Heroes
5.8

STORY

5.0/10

CHARACTERS

6.0/10

ART & ANIMATION

6.5/10

SOUNDTRACK

5.5/10

Pros

  • Beautiful scenery and, at times, nice animation.
  • A poignant ending (with the exception of that one “twist” in the last thirty seconds).
  • Ash’s friendship with Latias, which helped drive an otherwise dull movie.

Cons

  • Despite what the movie poster promises, there is very little action to be seen here.
  • The CGI at times, especially the first-person shots.
  • Underdeveloped plot, in which the DMA’s creation and abilities were explained in very little detail.
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