I am Orion, webmaster and owner of Breaking Canon. Profanity and unprofessional behavior is (lulz, badz gramerz) my game.
Whaaaat, are you expecting a professional reviewer? I don’t see one. Just… little ol’ me.
I say mean things. Some can be REALLY mean.
So, I do not take responsibility for (but will be entertained by):
- Hurt feelings
- Shattered dreams
- Angry fanboy/girl-isms
- Offending people who take this stuff way too seriously to the point where it’s their LIFE
- General butthurt-ness
I’ll be as blunt as I want to be, as it is my right to. After all, opinion is opinion. We all have the ability to be selective, so you can choose to ignore the reviews if I’m such a stinky meanieface.
And yes, that is my troll face. I may orgasm from watching someone having a bad day because I wrote a review on how much their favorite anime sucked.
No, not really.
Please read the FAQs below if you so desire to tear me a new one or just want to understand the site in general.
Q. What do you review?
Any video game or animation I just so happen to get my hands on. And yes, that includes Japanese anime. I’m especially fond of discovering rare, obscure or underrated media.
I may extend to other media such as novels in the future.
Q. What is your critiquing style?
Very informal, complete with naughty language.
I do so for the fun of it. But underneath the sarcasm and possibly hurtful remarks about your favorite show/movie/whatever, there are some serious criticisms.
Q. Are you paid to review stuff?
Nope. Not only do I write stuff on my own time, no one pays me to write these reviews. I’m a real gamer and a casual anime fan, not a marketer in a gamer’s skin. I don’t write reviews just to give a developer or studio a good name. I write reviews so I can recommend stuff I like and tell people to stay away from certain media—I’m looking at you, Sword Art Online.
Q. I accidentally clicked something. Why did it take me to a different site?
Sometimes, I have some hidden Easter eggs leading to more information. I love trivia, but don’t you just find it frustrating that you want to know where a certain image or joke comes from?
That is why I may have hyperlinks on images or text in my reviews. I don’t mind backlinking to a website or YouTube channel I support, so there you go. Have fun with discovering new things—by the way, try clicking the Ganpachi Chabane image on this page to see what I mean.
Q. Where did you get the name Breaking Canon?
If you’re not familiar with the site logo, it’s based on a live-action TV series called Breaking Bad. If you haven’t watched the series, I suggest you do. It’s really badass.
Q. What happens when you mix Calcium and Bromine together?
You get calcium bromide (CaBr2), a salt often mixed with dense aqueous solutions to produce drilling fluid.
I guess it’s a good metaphor for what I do: drilling a hole into a franchise with acid and getting the goodies.
Q. You’re using naughty language! Why can’t you make this blog child-friendly for my 3-year old son?
First off, if your kid is even here in the first place, you have already failed as a parent. I don’t babysit or supervise children online. If you’re asking me to change how I present my content, then you might as well get the FCC to censor anything in life that resembles a phallus.
In other words, this is how I do things on my own blog that I paid for, so please forgive me and suck my dick.
Oh, and learn to be a better parent and actually regulate what your child has been doing on the Internet. Trust me, that is the long-term solution for all societies.
Q. Do you act like this in real life?
Act like what, buttface?
Naw. You know that little truth that people have an online presence that differs from their real-life counterparts? It’s referring to people like me, and possibly yourself too.
Much of what I say on this blog is for the jest of it and, well… exaggerated. If I’m really that nuts, I would be in a mental institution already and I wouldn’t be here doing this blog.
Q. Why can’t you say nicer things about my favorite anime/game?
Because I’m not those people who give every series they’ve watched a score—on a scale of 1 to 10—a 7 or higher. Ratings are overrated anyway.
Hyuck-hyuck-hyuck! I crack myself up!
So don’t count your lucky stars.
But really, I don’t like to sugarcoat. I don’t yield to popular opinion just because it’s popular. Example: I don’t like Final Fantasy VII or any media associated to it. In fact, you really have to work hard to convince me otherwise because I don’t yield to another person’s opinion that easily.
I’ll try to give credit to where I believe it’s deserved, but I’m strictly looking for good and bad storytelling techniques. And if I find anything that seems legitimately bad to me, I will show no mercy. This is what it means to have a voice, and I’m not going to be that guy who is too lenient and gives high ratings to everything. I judge strictly for quality, so please hate me. Let your hatred become my strength!
Also, this page = IGN 7/10
Too much water.
Q. Why are your review scores inconsistent with so-and-so?
I think we already learned this from sites like IGN and Metacritic. Scores mean nothing, though I need to include them anyway. You have to read the review to see if something still matches up to your preferences, flaws and all.
What matters to me is that you find good video games and animations that match up to your preferences. That is part of why I run this blog. I want to share stuff that I think is good, like a sharp friend giving you a recommendation.
I’ll try my best to be consistent, but just remember I’m a fan of quality over quantity.
Q. Why can’t you just enjoy EVERYTHING you watch?
Whoa, champ! Setting the bar low, aren’t ya?
But that is the thing. I want to see better quality material out there and I want more people to be aware of them. You either write one yourself or you critique stories that already exist, and I just so happen to do a little bit of both. I also so happen to be an advocate for “raising the bar,” so excuse me if I say things how they are. If it’s shit, I think it’s shit. If it’s awesome, I think it’s awesome. If I think it’s ehhhhh, I think it’s blech!
Q. What do you consider a ‘plot hole?’
I used this list of definitions as a guideline. I especially like the “induced stupidity” explanations.
Q. Why don’t you move out of your mom’s basement, you dirty troll?
Because it’s the safest place for my Cheetos, Mountain Dew, porn and other dirty secrets (lolno).
But in all seriousness, I’m a college graduate and I have a job. And I get amused by stupid arguments and writing stupid jokes. That’s life. And no, it’s not because it makes me “feel smarter”—though if you feel that way, I’ll gladly take your compliment. Nah. Because it’s my entertainment, just as it can be your entertainment too. See the mutual symbiosis we share? You listen to my opinion, I entertain you. You might even listen to my recommendations too. It’s a win-win!
Oh, and I spent my own money running this blog. You’re welcome, you ingrate.
Q. You’re a condescending jerk.
Why, thank you! I try.
…Also, that’s not a question. Douche.
Or I can also say that I simply don’t take crap from anyone who thinks their opinion is “holier than thou,” because he is he.
Simpler terms: if I want my posts to be worth the time and effort, I have to be…
Because criticism doesn’t mean jackshit if you’re not exactly “critical” about it. And if that makes me a jerk, so be it. And my solution for you: go jerk off. It’s a better solution than being with that thing you call a girlfriend.
Q. Why don’t you start acting like a professional reviewer?
Because that would be BORING. I run this blog for fun. It’s a way for 20+ year old me to vent out while going through my boring business life. Who is going to sit through reading one of my reviews in stale, “professional” language?
And I write a lot.
Q. Who are you to tell me what I can and can’t watch?
Because I’m your daddy.
Ewwww, nononono. I would never father children like you.
Serious answer: I can persuade you to watch or not watch something, but the final decision is up to you. Yes, you. Do you know you have a brain that can help you make decisions? Omochao said so!
So don’t blame me for something you decided to do and ended up doing. That’s YOUR responsibility, not mine. So if you decided to punch your monitor in an attempt to reach me… well, first off, you missed. Second, IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT. HA HA.
Q. When will you stop with the preemptive insults?
As long as this blog runs… half past a millennium never. If any of this offends you, that means I have succeeded. And if any of this makes you giggle, I have won the game of life.
And if you still think I’m a horrible piece of human matter, well… tough. I exist, therefore you have to put up with me and my reviews.